What's up with his mind? He think he has the guts to say these things?
It's been almost a year since we started out as boyfriend and girlfriend. Engaging into that, we know the problems we're facing. First is that my parents and religion wouldn't encourage having a relationship with a "wordly". Second, he has a suicidal ex-girlfriend that he said he broke up with certainly because he doesn't love her anymore.
With all my heart, I really love him then. I give my sweet YES to him, believing that he arranged everything; because that is what he made me believe. When it comes with the religion thing, he said, "we can do it, we'll arrange that together."
Too bad I believed in words. I must have waited for actions.
Our relationship gone for less than a month, he broke up with me over the phone with a reason that his ex-girlfriend is really suicidal and that his parents encouraged him to end this up 'coz it's just goin' to be hard on us.
I must have listened to my friends back then. I regret that I ignored their honest advices and opinions.
Still, I wasn't fed up with his actions. We're classmates and I don't have a choice but to see him. I dressed up beautifully for the first day of class. As they have said, beauty is the best revenge.
In school, I don't talk to him, I ignored him as much as I could. but my actions had something to say, "You fool! How can you dump this kind of lady?"
I wanted to win him back. In fact, I'm much beatiful than his ex, much kind and sweet, understanding not a nagger nor clingy.. I wanted him to see this.. He will be much happier with me, I thought.
At the end of our class, he talked to me. He invited me on a date. I'm so much glad that I'm goin' to win him back. I went with him.
He doesn't explain a bit neither the word sorry didn't came out from his mouth.
Stupid girl! I made it easy for him to have me again. I don't even talked about how much pain he brought, how I've had a hard time to cope up with that.
Too blinded... I just want him.
We're happy again. We have done lots of things together.There are times that i lied to my parents just to be with him.
I was at the peak of my happiness wishing he was the one I would be going to marry someday. But then again, he broke up with me. Reason? His ex-girlfriend wanted him back and she would kill herself if he wouldn't do so.
He did it to me five times with the same reasoning. After each break-up, he always find his way to get close to me.. inch by inch, erasing my grudges to him even without explaining and the word sorry is not coming out from his mouth,(imagine how you manipulated me!!) and all things are normal again..
Five times is more than enough. Now, I am fed up. I discovered things like his parents didn't encourage him to do so, he doesn't broke up with the said "ex- girlfriend" ever, and they have sex.
As iI have learned these things out, my face was plain with almost no emotion at all. I don't know why, maybe because I'm too tired to receive shocking surprises and I'm used to all the pain he put me through.
But now, I will stand up with my eyes wide open, brightly seeing. "No more comebacks", I've decided. I realized that I would not be able to live my lifetime with him. (maybe I would die early with him..)
He is just a fake necklace that I picked up on street and eventhough how much I love him, I must give up for me to have an original necklace that's right for me, a necklace that would make me feel good, important and expensive.
YOU MR! Stop playing games with me. I'm not going to play with you anymore. Even how hard you try to make yourself close to me, even if you cried with blood, I won't be fooled anymore, I will not accept you anymore!
Stop giving me letters written in a "scratch paper" telling me you miss me and you're sorry, that I should remember those things we've done through together.. well, I should tell you, I remember those, I didn't get an amnesia right?.. those memories meant nothing to me now, trash.. that's the best way to describe it.
Who do you think you are saying, "I thought you were mine for the rest of my life, but now you're gone"?
You are the reason why I'm not yours. So blame yourself and be sorry for yourself, It's just too late for you to realize my worth. I don't think there would be a girl who will love you like the way I've loved you...
Well, I must say thanks for the lessons you thought me..
1) Never believe in action, believe in words with actions
2) If someone hurts you once, why not five times?
3) Be strong! Don't say, "I love him so much that I cannot live without him". You were born in this world without him, right? It's mind over matter.
4) Love yourself, don't give it all away so when he dump you, you won't appear as trash but an expensive thing they cannot afford..
